Published September 21st, 2007 by admin
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Archive for September, 2007
Published September 18th, 2007 by admin
Mr Cadbury and Ms Rountree.
Mr Cadbury met Ms Rountree in a room on Quality Street, it was After 8. He turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic! He slipped his hand in to her snickers and showed her his CurlyWurly. Not keen to have any Jelly Babies she let him have her up Bourneville boulevard. She screamed in Turkish Delight as he took out his Fun Sized Mars Bar. It felt a bit Crunchie and she wanted some Time Out but he did a Twirl and came in a very Milky Way!
Published September 16th, 2007 by admin
Non Alcoholic Lager
Non alcoholic lager, a bit like going down on your sister, tastes the same but it just aint right!
Published September 11th, 2007 by admin
Fun Vagina Facts
Average Depth of a Vagina: between 3 to 6 inches.Largest Vagina: the female blue whale with a normal length of 6 to 8 feet.
Largest Human Vagina: belonged to a woman who was 7?8? tall.
Smallest Vagina: 2 or 3 centimeters - surgery is required for correction.
Longest Clitoris: recorded at 4 inches long and 1 inches diameter.
Longest Labia Minora: some African tribes enlarge their labia to 7 inches in length.
Most Orgasms: 134 in one hour for a woman - 16 for a man.
Longest Recorded Orgasm: 43-seconds with 25 consecutive contractions.
Longest Recorded Pubic Hair: 28? (71.12 cm) long.
According The Solitary Vice (a book for doctors in the 1890s) women who masturbate
tend to eat a lot of foods containing mustard and vinegar.
Women were discouraged from having orgasms during the Middle Ages because it was
thought that they made women less capable of getting pregnant.
The modern IUD invented was invented in 1909.
The vagina and the eye are self-cleaning organs.
An orgasm relieves menstrual cramps because the vigorous muscle action moves
blood and other fluids away from congested organs, and provides a release in the
muscle fibers relieving tension.
The G-spot is named for Dr. Ernest Grafenberg.
The modern psychiatric definition of nymphomaniac is a woman who cannot experience
sexual satisfaction regardless of the number of orgasms or partners she has.
In a recent survey of women who use vibrators for sexual relief, 8 out 10 stated they do
not insert the vibrator inside them, they use it on the outside of the clitoris to achieve
orgasm.
A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so
headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex. .
It is ancient legend that Cleopatra of the Nile had 2 orgasms a day and manufactured
her diaphragm out of cow dung.
Published September 10th, 2007 by admin
Supermarkets Taking Over The World
First thing, why is it that supermarkets are always bitchin� about each other (yes i am well aware of the irony of me bitchin� about them but that�s not the point) whose better than who and slagging each other off in the press, for fuck sake grow up! Besides it�s because of these control freaks that legitimate, friendly local businesses are slowly fading away and replaced by monopolising pricks in suits who think cheap, low, bargain prices are the only thing customers want. Whatever happened to the friendly neighbourhood butchers, bakers and candlestick makers? For alot of supermarkets may seem an ideal solution for the short while but what happens when ALL the little guys are gone? Two words Complete Control!!
Published September 10th, 2007 by admin
Patients �Lack Vitamin D�
The majority of patients who suffer a broken bone have inadequate levels of vitamin D, research conducted at a Gillingham hospital has suggested.
A Medway Maritime Hospital study showed that 96% of patients with broken bones did not have enough of the vitamin.
It is key to healthy bones as it makes sure that the body can absorb calcium which helps them stay strong.
Published September 10th, 2007 by admin
Cannibal Holocaust
I saw this movie the other day, although not for the weak stomached i found it a very powerful movie. I would like to hear from anyone who has seen it.
Heres the low down.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980) is a controversial exploitation film which was banned in Australia (where the ban has since been lifted), the United Kingdom and Italy, due to its depiction of graphic rape, torture, and the killings of real animals. It was conceived by Gianfranco Clerici and Giorgio Stegani, and made under the direction of Ruggero Deodato with a budget of around 100,000 USD. It is probably the best-known and most financially successful of the exploitation subgenre of Italian cannibal films.
Taglines:
The one that goes all the way!
You won�t believe that what you�re seeing could have happened!
The most controversial movie ever made
The film contains two timelines; the �real� timeline shows Harold Monroe�s trip into the jungle to determine the fate of the young American explorers, and his later subsequent reviewing of the recovered films. Much of the film is the depiction of the �recovered� film�s contents, which grow increasingly disturbing as they are revealed. The films depict female and male nudity, rape, and human and animal killing.
Published September 5th, 2007 by admin
Origin Of The Word Bollocks
So what is the true original meaning of the famous British word “bollocks”? The majority of Brits have used it at some point in their lives, more commonly down their local pub.
The story revolves around the Sex Pistols� 1977 album �Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols. The manager of the Virgin record shop in Nottingham was charged under the Indecent Advertisements Act of 1889 after police spotted posters advertising the newly-released album in the shop window.
During the trial, Richard Branson called upon the Professor of Linguistics at the local university, (a Professor Kinglsey), to define the word bollocks. Professor Kinglsey explained that the word �bollocks� was actually an eighteenth century nickname for priests. Because priests� sermons were typically a load of rubbish, the word bollocks eventually became synonymous with rubbish.
Published September 5th, 2007 by admin
How Big Is Your Penis?
Ever wanted to know the size of someones penis before there’s no turning back? Whether there well endowed or have a midget size maggot. Well here’s your answer, try this calculation below:
(Shoe Size + 5) / 2
I’ve tested this calculation on several people and so far had positive results, even tried it on myself! Hmmm.
Published September 5th, 2007 by admin
A Few Blonde Jokes For Your Reading Pleasure
Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
“No,” she says, “yesterday I nearly got caught!”
Continue reading ‘A Few Blonde Jokes For Your Reading Pleasure’
